Just like in Spaceballs when they skip lightspeed to go to plaid, we’ve surpassed the old Chinese curse, “May you live in interesting times” to live in a ridiculous time. Frankly, it’s kind of embarrassing.
Take the Super Bowl (or Superb Owl, or Superbowel, depending on how you feel about it). I’ll admit that I was happy the Chiefs won: not that I care about the game, but I’ve honestly been enjoying all the Taylor Swift conspiracy theories. To be honest, I know nothing about Taylor Swift, other than that she’s very pretty, very popular, she died horribly in Amsterdam* and apparently, she is the most powerful force in American politics today. At any rate, the Chiefs’ victory ensured a brief continuation of what is, for me, the most ridiculous (and entertaining) of the current crop of conspiracy theories.
Watching the MAGAmaniacs (MAGAniacs?) carry on about how the Swift thing is a psyop**to help Biden win in November is pretty damned funny. I’m not even sure how someone would go about satirizing that. To be perfectly clear, I don’t know anybody who doesn’t think that whole thing is abominably stupid – and the vast majority of my friends are staunch conservatives. It’s not a conservative or Republican theory, it’s a bunch of nonsense promoted by televised right-wing talking heads, politicians, and professional shit-stirrers.
It’s also notable that over here on the left side of the field (well, left/center), that none of the televised left-wing talking heads, politicians, or political shit-stirrers are taking it seriously (which of course doesn’t stop them from going on about it in search of clicks and ratings***). But don’t get too excited – there’s plenty of other nonsense for them to get waaaay too excited about. The problem is, for me at least, that while many of the left-wing screaming points are almost as ridiculous, they’re just not that entertaining – or original (This just in: Great Googly-Moogly! Trump said something racist, sexist, incendiary, or indecipherable! What you NEED to know!). Good grief, it is Tuesday already? I kinda feel like my own side is letting me down.
I’ve also been enjoying all of the whining about how people resent all the screen time wasted showing Swift during the games: “I wanna watch football, not some lefty bimbo!” (I’m paraphrasing). I mean, I totally understand where they’re coming from: having to look at a pretty girl for anywhere from 30-60 seconds of non-playing time during a 4-hour-long broadcast must be horribly frustrating.
The lovely and talented Jess and I got rid of cable/satellite TV years ago, because we hate commercials. I know how frustrated I’d be if my streaming services started interrupting my movies periodically for something I’m in not interested in at all (lookin’ at YOU, Amazon!). However, I am having a little trouble understanding the whole objecting-to-looking-at-a-pretty-girl-because-of-her-politics thing, to be honest (not that I would ever objectify a woman – gotta maintain my liberal-left-wing-commie-pinko-fag card).
In other Super Bowl-related ridiculousness, how about that “Jesus Gets Us” commercial? Apparently, everyone hated it, for reasons with absolutely no overlap: I saw a video from a guy who was horrified by it, because it apparently Wokefies Jesus – obviously a lefty plot. Gasp! The horror! This dude is apparently horrified by the idea that Jesus loves everyone, and that we should too****.
I followed that up by reading an article about how horrible the ad is, because of the apparently shady organizations/motivations behind it (the Hobby Lobby folks among others), are using it as a bait-and-switch to lure LGBTQI+, women who might be thinking about an abortion, addicts, and other folks like that, who are desperate for acceptance in so they can be either “fixed” or crushed and discarded as irredeemable. Obviously a conservative plot!
Then there are the sort of Christians that I know and love – you know, the kind who genuinely try to love and care for everybody. They’re offended by the fact that a gazillion dollars that could have been spent taking care of people/helping people was spent on an ad. Okay, this one, I actually get.
Even when we don’t like something, we’re not happy unless everyone else hates it for the same reason we do. We are ridiculous people living in an increasingly ridiculous country. So we’ve got that going for us!
* For my money, one of the best movies of 2022* (ironically, her character in the film was the victim of a conspiracy – coincidence? Don’t be ridiculous!)
** This Jesse Watters video literally made me laugh out loud. As an added bonus, here’s a really funny video I found in the comments: https://twitter.com/i/status/1723037915561746564
*** I hope this isn’t one of those “pot-calling-the-kettle-black” things!
**** This dude isn’t alone, either. Here’s a link to the commercial on the social media platform formerly known (and mostly still known) as Twitter: https://twitter.com/HeGetsUs/status/1756829657859772554https://twitter.com/HeGetsUs/status/1756829657859772554 As much as I normally avoid comment sections, I found the comments on this video kind of horrifyingly funny. Your mileage may vary.
