I have discovered that I am (or at least have a tendency toward being) a preachy jerk. Granted, my wife, my kids, and any number of my friends could (and have) pointed this out, but, I’ve finally figured it out for myself. Frankly, I’m a little disappointed in myself that it’s taken me this long to really realize it. I pride myself on being an at least fairly smart guy, and fairly aware of my own shortcomings, but to reach this age without being cognizant (one easy way to spot people who think they’re smart is watch for big words like cognizant) of this glaring deficiency in my own character is a little embarrassing.

For two or three days now, I’ve been trying to write a couple of different posts dealing, at least nominally, with religion. One was about how many people think they know what God wants, expects, or means, when Jesus’ own disciples lived with him, talked with him, and listened to him for what, three years, and still had trouble understanding what he was talking about. If you read the gospels, and give the disciples silly British accents, many of their exchanges with Jesus sound like a Monty Python sketch. Another post was about the merits of losers, and was based on much the same material (with lots of examples from the old testament thrown in).

I found, as I was writing, that I kept sounding more and more preachy. In fact, I was really starting to sound like all those schmucks and chuckleheads who are so sure they’ve got it right. Even more aggravating was that I kept preaching against saying “I know what God wants”, rather than preaching for saying, “I don’t really know what God wants, but I’m going to do my best to understand and please him anyway,” which was the whole point of the posts. Why is it so much easier (and fun) to preach against things than for better things?

I’m not saying that we can’t understand the bible (although there are honestly a lot of parts that I can’t seem to get my head around), but rather that we (particularly the royal “we”) should keep in mind our (royal “our”) own fallibility, and not rely too heavily on our own limited understanding. I (the royal “we” joke is getting a little old already. It probably wasn’t that funny to begin with) should keep in mind that, as much trouble as the disciples seemed to have understanding the most basic concepts of what Jesus was saying, how much chance have I really got?

I take some comfort in the fact that I don’t seem to be the only one with a propensity for preachiness, and that I at least have the common sense to post my opinions here where, let’s face it, I’m probably the only one who’s ever going to see it, rather than searching out cameras and microphones, podiums and pulpits from which to inflict my pompous views on the public.

Sorry if this seemed a little preachy.